This girl is more easily done than said...
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
