Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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