I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
