it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
