Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize