real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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