i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
