I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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