Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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