How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
