And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
