3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
