I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
