Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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