About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
