You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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