Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
