she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
