Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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