All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
