R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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