Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
