Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
