I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
