Heybabeimwearingurpanties
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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