I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize