ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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