your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
