maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
