Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
