it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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