Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
