no, he came in my armpit
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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