i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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