their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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