so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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