I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
