I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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