Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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