also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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