Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
