let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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