My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she smelled like a LAN party
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
