her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
