what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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