you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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