it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
