problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
