just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize