I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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