I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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