Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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