umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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