if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize