how can u be prego again
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
