I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
