He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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