Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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